This one really didn't come out like I had hoped, you will be seeing a different version of it soon.
He looks SO big in his stroller now!
My happy little guy
Getting sleepy
He wouldn't give up the toy :)
I am emotionally exhausted. Madison was awful today.
So we were on our way to the park and I wanted to get Tyler a hat to keep the sun out of his eyes so we go to Old Navy. They were having a good sale so I let Madison pick out a dress and I got her two shirts. She was so excited about the dress and wanted to put it on right then, I kept telling her no, that she could wear it tomorrow. She wouldn't quit whining about it (and no matter what "it" is- she gets NOTHING if she whines about it). She wouldn't stop repeating herself "PLEASE MOMMY PLEASE MOMMY PLEASE..." and I told her if she kept whining about it I was going to put the dress back. It wasn't that it was that big a deal when she wore the dress, just that she whined as soon as I said no, being a real brat about it. She has left the 2 shirts somewhere and I told her to go find them and then we would go to the park but she just wanders around me and I tell her to hurry up and she screams at me "STOP SAYING THAT!" -Keep in mind I wasn't even upset and hand't even told her that once yet, she just flipped out for no reason. I still was trying to keep the peace and went to take her hand and lead her to where we had been shopping and the shirts probably were but she thought I was going to take the dress away so she takes off running and crying no i want this dress and runs into an old lady and some guy bc she is looking back at me while running from me. I have Tyler in the sling so I can't really run after her. She has never run from me before. I am telling her in a very firm but quit voice she better come here right now. i stopped going after her and just held out my hand saying in a threatening voice "you better come take my hand right now" People were watching us and I was already embarrassed at this point. She slowly comes to take my hand, worried that she is going to have the dress taken away, i have to act like I am not mad to get her to come to me. Like getting a dog to come to you. I take her hand and start walking out the store and try to take the dress from her and she has such a tight grip on it i have to fight her for it. I get it away and toss it aside and she really flips out. She starts screaming at the top of her lungs that she wants that dress and is physically pulling me back and I have to drag her. We get to the door and she throws herself down on the ground kinda hard. I probably looked abusive, but she did it. I can't pull her up bc she is so big and heavy so I just drag her a few feet out the door till she gets up. Everybody is staring of course. I pull her hand towards the car, and while we are in the parking lot she actually pulls away from me and pushes me in the back and I fell forward onto my hands, of course with Tyler still in the sling. She has never done anything like that to me before, I was in such shock. I turn around to grab her hand again and she throws herself on the ground again and tries to trip me, I did trip over her. I am beyond upset at this point and totally out of control. She is still screaming at the top of her lungs she wants the dress. I know what it looked like to people, some shitty mom that can't control her bratty kid. I cried and she screamed the whole way home and for a while after that. I put her to bed early. I am still so upset and feel like such a failure. I have never been so humiliated. If she doesn't have ADHD, I am just a terrible parent.
To not leave on a depressing note, I will add some pics of my little guy... 11 weeks old now! As well as some updates on the kids. I tried to get some of both of them earlier but Madison wouldn't take pics for me. She rarely wants to take pics now and if she does it's at a time that I can't.
Anyway, Tyler is doing great, he is so big and thick and getting hard to carry in his car seat. He is one big boy. He will be 12 weeks next wednesday, so almost 3 months and everybody thinks he is 4 months now. But he isn't doing much more besides laughing (oh yeah he has started reaching for his car seat and bouncer toys and learned to kick his legs to bounce in it- had to come back and add that bc I had forgotten bc it's been a few weeks since he started!), he gets so mad during tummy time and cries that hearbreaking cry. I should leave him longer but I can't take it but do give him some tummy time every day. He isn't near as strong as Madison was from birth, she was crawling at 4.5 months, she did everything really early and was rolling over by now, and Tyler is nowhere close to rolling over and definitely not a month away from crawling. But they say boys do things slower...And I really don't mind. I do baby him more, I hold him more and kinda want him to stay my baby longer since I know he is my last. He is just my sweet cuddle bug and I am his favorite person, I can make him smile and coo and laugh like no one else. I just love holding and talking to him, and am sad that in just several months he will be crawling all over the place and won't be my cuddle bug anymore. He doesn't seem to care all that much for Madison yet, I know he will soon. Before long I am sure she will be making him crack up. But right now all she does is smother him, lay on him, pull and tug and get right in his face. She squezes to hug and kisses to hard. So he probably dreads her coming around right now lol, but she is learning slowly how to kiss more gently, the rest though, I don't know if she will ever get better. He is a good sleeper, only wakes up 1-3 times a night now and is so happy in the mornings. He is growing out of his 0-3 month clothes right on time, and it seems like they just started fitting. I hate to see him grow so fast :(
Madison is as much of a handful as ever. She just started tball and has only had one practice so far, but it was pretty much a disaster. She was the only kid who didn't pay any attention, didn't want to stand in line to wait her turn, was off picking flowers half the time and when they huddled she played in the dirt, she couldn't have cared less about tball and then whined that everybody else was doing better than her. At one point she ran to get the ball and ran off to the playground instead lol. So maybe tball isn't her thing. I should have known better, I should have put her in soccer, it's is more physical and not as much standing around. I know she doesn't have any patience. I just thought it would be a good learning experience for her and help her to be patient and learn teamwork and all would be fun, but maybe not. I might have just wasted money. But we are not letting her give up, she has to finish, or we wouldn't be teaching her a good lesson at all. She doesn't have to be any good, I just want her to have fun. She is getting excited about starting school next year and I can't believe I have to go enroll her. Wow, where have the last 5 years gone??? She is obsessed with Taylor Swift and is so cute singing her songs and can recognize a single note to one of her songs if I scan past it on the radio lol.
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