Monday, March 30, 2009

Dr. Suess for nursing moms

I Just love this and wanted to share. Most people that know me know how pro-breastfeeding I am and that I don't care who is uncomfortable by the fact that I am feeding my baby, they can stick it where the sun don't shine :)

Dr. Suess for nursing Moms - author unknown

Little ones can squirm and pout
make a fuss and scream and shout
When hunger hits without a doubt,
Sit right down and whip them out.

I would nurse them if they cried,
I could nurse them far and wide,
Here and there or Up or down or on a chair.
For this fine milk is very rare!!!

Would you nurse them on a train?
Would you nurse them on a plane?
Would you nurse them in a car?
Would you nurse them in a bar?

Yes, on a train, yes on a plane.
Yes, in a car, yes in a bar.

I would nurse them here or there.
I would nurse them anywhere!

I would nurse them in a booth,
On the stairs or near the roof.
Anywhere my boys cry out,
I pop the nummies in their mouth.

I can serve it by the ounce,
I can serve it while I bounce.
In a bottle or in a jar,
I can serve from near or far.

Would you, could you nurse in church?
Would you on a shaky perch?
Would you, could you, in the stands?
Could you nurse them with no hands?

I would, I could nurse in church,
Even on a shaky perch.
In the stands, with no hands,
I'll nurse my babies on demand.

Would you nurse them at the store?
Would you nurse them on the floor?
Would you nurse them on a ship?
Careful not to show your nip!

Would you nurse them while on skis?
Would you nurse them on your knees?
Would you nurse them in a tree?
Mummy milk's SO GOOD, you see.

Would you nurse them by the stream?
You could nurse them while you dream.
Can you nurse and clean the house?
Can you nurse and chase a mouse?

Can you nurse and cook a meal?
Mummy's milk is the real deal!
Would you nurse them while you sleep?
How about while you sweep?

Could you nurse them in a sling?
Would you, could you, while you sing?
How about upon a swing?
Mother's milk is just the thing!

Would you nurse them at the park?
Would you nurse them in the dark?
Would you nurse them with a Boppy? (*brand of breastfeeding pillow)
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse them in the park,
I would nurse them in the dark.
I'd nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seatbelt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though they may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse them 'till they're full!

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes them healthy, strong and smart,
Mummy's milk is the best start!

Would you nurse them at the game?
Would you nurse them in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse them at the game.
I would nurse them in the rain.

As for those who protest lactation,
I have a perfect explanation.
Mummy milk is tailor made
It's perfect food, you need no aid.

Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast's the perfect food!

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that milk's the perfect food!

We make the right amount we need,
The perfect temp for every feed.
There's no compare to milk from breast---
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mummy milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can't be beat.
I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.

I will not let my babies cry,
I'll meet their needs, I'll always try.
It's not about what's good for you,
It's best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse them in my home,
I will nurse them when I roam.
Leave me be lads, leave me be ma'am.
I will nurse them, Mum I am.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Getting By

Tball practice last Monday, she did better
I love this picture lol
She was not very happy about waiting

Sleepyhead, wouldn't it be nice if we all slept this good?

How cute is this shot??? She made him laugh by her laughing.

Tyler's "One day I'll make it big..." shot...terrible session but priceless shot even if it's not perfect techinically speaking.

Life has been a little crazy, but not necessarily bad. It has had it's up and downs, way up and way down. Madison is doing a little better I think, we have had a few days where she was suprisingly calm, but then she would be more herself the next and in trouble all day. When she has the calmer days I make sure to praise her a ton. We have been working on feeding her healthier, little to no junk, artificial stuff, ect. We have days we cheat though and it seems to make no difference either way. But I am sure that is because we don't stick to it strictly like we should. After I see the pediatrician the 14th I will be deciding if it's worth paying $80 for a food list, see what she says. There was only one time that it was really obvious that what she had could have had a direct effect on her behavior and that was the infamous Old Navy meltdown. We had done good all week and had a fairly decent week with her, until that day she had an orange fanta drink and it was a few hours later that the meltdown happened. But sometimes she is terrible when her diets been great that day and other days, like today, she had a donut and kolache for breakfast at lunch time bc we slept late, and was pretty calm all day. Who knows? She has been grounded for that day up until today. She told me she would never do that again, and I am sure she means it until emotions take over. I don't mean to complain about her all the time, I feel like I do. She is still her funny, crazy self. Since she is getting older she doesn't say as funny of things as she used to out of just no knowing any difference, but says stuff on purpose to make us laugh. I love it when she says toddlerish things, I will miss that. Today there was a movie on, the woman was standing in her house that was being built, it was just the frame up, and she kissed her fiance's friend and he rejected her and she got upset. Madison asked why and I told her because she was embarrased and she said "Why? Because her house is broken?" LOL :) I told her daddy's kolaches had yucky jalapenos in them..."And he likes them yucky like that???" She did quite a bit better at her last tball practice, I will add a few of those shots. She only likes it when she is getting to bat though. It's way too boring for her waiting her turn or being in the outfield but I think most of the girls feel that way. She is so cute in this one picture of her running to first base. She says she doesn't want to play tball anymore but we are making her finish what she started, it was her choice, she just didn't know what she was getting into so I do feel bad, but it wouldn't be a very good lesson to teach her if I let her quit. It's only two months anyway. She has been getting over a cold this past few days.

Tyler is sick. He has an eye infection which was probably caused by Madison coughing in his face. I read you can get it by someone sneezing or coughing in your face and she has been doing that a lot, but it could have been numerous things. She doesn't mean to so much as she is in his face and it comes on fast before she gets her hand to her face. His eyes are goopy and red and he has green diarhea and is fussy. But the weird thing is for a lot of tonight he was sickly and wanted to be held but he was so sweet! He talked and smiled this sickly looking smile and just wanted constant attention and affection. For a while he whined this sad little uncomfortable cry, not a scream. And when he did fall asleep, he even cried quitely in his sleep, how sad is that??? Breastmilk works great for eye infections so I am treating him with that. Weird, huh?

I put his adorable pajamas on last night and he was so stinkin cute I had to take pics this morning. Finally, Madison is making him laugh more than cry. He stares at her in the car and just smiles so big even if she isn't looking at him and he laughs when she laughs. It makes her feel really good to be able to make him smile and laugh. I got some good giggles rubbing my nose in his armpits and ribs, baby giggles are so sweet they make me tear up.

I am kinda busy, I have 7 shoots scheduled in just the next two weeks! Moms are wanting easter pictures done, and I SO can't wait to do the kids, they are matching and are going to look too adorable. Hope all is well with everyone!!! And hey, I made some changes to my site, check it out...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

What a Day

I really don't like the first one, it looks too much like a school picture but she is beautiful and it shows how long her hair is getting.

This one really didn't come out like I had hoped, you will be seeing a different version of it soon.

He looks SO big in his stroller now!
My happy little guy
Getting sleepy
He wouldn't give up the toy :)

I am emotionally exhausted. Madison was awful today.

So we were on our way to the park and I wanted to get Tyler a hat to keep the sun out of his eyes so we go to Old Navy. They were having a good sale so I let Madison pick out a dress and I got her two shirts. She was so excited about the dress and wanted to put it on right then, I kept telling her no, that she could wear it tomorrow. She wouldn't quit whining about it (and no matter what "it" is- she gets NOTHING if she whines about it). She wouldn't stop repeating herself "PLEASE MOMMY PLEASE MOMMY PLEASE..." and I told her if she kept whining about it I was going to put the dress back. It wasn't that it was that big a deal when she wore the dress, just that she whined as soon as I said no, being a real brat about it. She has left the 2 shirts somewhere and I told her to go find them and then we would go to the park but she just wanders around me and I tell her to hurry up and she screams at me "STOP SAYING THAT!" -Keep in mind I wasn't even upset and hand't even told her that once yet, she just flipped out for no reason. I still was trying to keep the peace and went to take her hand and lead her to where we had been shopping and the shirts probably were but she thought I was going to take the dress away so she takes off running and crying no i want this dress and runs into an old lady and some guy bc she is looking back at me while running from me. I have Tyler in the sling so I can't really run after her. She has never run from me before. I am telling her in a very firm but quit voice she better come here right now. i stopped going after her and just held out my hand saying in a threatening voice "you better come take my hand right now" People were watching us and I was already embarrassed at this point. She slowly comes to take my hand, worried that she is going to have the dress taken away, i have to act like I am not mad to get her to come to me. Like getting a dog to come to you. I take her hand and start walking out the store and try to take the dress from her and she has such a tight grip on it i have to fight her for it. I get it away and toss it aside and she really flips out. She starts screaming at the top of her lungs that she wants that dress and is physically pulling me back and I have to drag her. We get to the door and she throws herself down on the ground kinda hard. I probably looked abusive, but she did it. I can't pull her up bc she is so big and heavy so I just drag her a few feet out the door till she gets up. Everybody is staring of course. I pull her hand towards the car, and while we are in the parking lot she actually pulls away from me and pushes me in the back and I fell forward onto my hands, of course with Tyler still in the sling. She has never done anything like that to me before, I was in such shock. I turn around to grab her hand again and she throws herself on the ground again and tries to trip me, I did trip over her. I am beyond upset at this point and totally out of control. She is still screaming at the top of her lungs she wants the dress. I know what it looked like to people, some shitty mom that can't control her bratty kid. I cried and she screamed the whole way home and for a while after that. I put her to bed early. I am still so upset and feel like such a failure. I have never been so humiliated. If she doesn't have ADHD, I am just a terrible parent.

To not leave on a depressing note, I will add some pics of my little guy... 11 weeks old now! As well as some updates on the kids. I tried to get some of both of them earlier but Madison wouldn't take pics for me. She rarely wants to take pics now and if she does it's at a time that I can't.

Anyway, Tyler is doing great, he is so big and thick and getting hard to carry in his car seat. He is one big boy. He will be 12 weeks next wednesday, so almost 3 months and everybody thinks he is 4 months now. But he isn't doing much more besides laughing (oh yeah he has started reaching for his car seat and bouncer toys and learned to kick his legs to bounce in it- had to come back and add that bc I had forgotten bc it's been a few weeks since he started!), he gets so mad during tummy time and cries that hearbreaking cry. I should leave him longer but I can't take it but do give him some tummy time every day. He isn't near as strong as Madison was from birth, she was crawling at 4.5 months, she did everything really early and was rolling over by now, and Tyler is nowhere close to rolling over and definitely not a month away from crawling. But they say boys do things slower...And I really don't mind. I do baby him more, I hold him more and kinda want him to stay my baby longer since I know he is my last. He is just my sweet cuddle bug and I am his favorite person, I can make him smile and coo and laugh like no one else. I just love holding and talking to him, and am sad that in just several months he will be crawling all over the place and won't be my cuddle bug anymore. He doesn't seem to care all that much for Madison yet, I know he will soon. Before long I am sure she will be making him crack up. But right now all she does is smother him, lay on him, pull and tug and get right in his face. She squezes to hug and kisses to hard. So he probably dreads her coming around right now lol, but she is learning slowly how to kiss more gently, the rest though, I don't know if she will ever get better. He is a good sleeper, only wakes up 1-3 times a night now and is so happy in the mornings. He is growing out of his 0-3 month clothes right on time, and it seems like they just started fitting. I hate to see him grow so fast :(

Madison is as much of a handful as ever. She just started tball and has only had one practice so far, but it was pretty much a disaster. She was the only kid who didn't pay any attention, didn't want to stand in line to wait her turn, was off picking flowers half the time and when they huddled she played in the dirt, she couldn't have cared less about tball and then whined that everybody else was doing better than her. At one point she ran to get the ball and ran off to the playground instead lol. So maybe tball isn't her thing. I should have known better, I should have put her in soccer, it's is more physical and not as much standing around. I know she doesn't have any patience. I just thought it would be a good learning experience for her and help her to be patient and learn teamwork and all would be fun, but maybe not. I might have just wasted money. But we are not letting her give up, she has to finish, or we wouldn't be teaching her a good lesson at all. She doesn't have to be any good, I just want her to have fun. She is getting excited about starting school next year and I can't believe I have to go enroll her. Wow, where have the last 5 years gone??? She is obsessed with Taylor Swift and is so cute singing her songs and can recognize a single note to one of her songs if I scan past it on the radio lol.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Rock On

Just wanna show his cute onesie...

Look how strong he is getting...

Update on my ADHD research

Wow, reading about ADHD has made me feel like I have been reading a book about my life with Madison, like it was wrote specifically about us.

(Here is just one definition for those unfamiliar with it...ADHD refers to a chronic disorder that initially manifests in childhood and is characterized by hyperactivity, impulsivity, and/or inattention. Not all of those affected by ADHD manifest all three behavioral categories. These symptoms can lead to difficulty in academic, emotional, and social functioning. The diagnosis is established by satisfying specific criteria and may be associated with other neurological, significant behavioral, and/or developmental/learning disabilities. Therapy may consider the use of medication, behavioral therapy, and adjustments in day-to-day lifestyle activities. )

I always knew that of course you feel better when you eat healthy, everybody knows that. But I never knew to what extent that unhealthy food could have on behavior and brain developement. The majority of people in the world of ADHD believe diet has a major role in treatment, believing that being sensitive to chemicals causes these symptoms of ADHD. If you don't know about it, there is this diet, or program now as it's called, The Feingold Program:

"For several weeks, you use only foods that arefree of synthetic dyes, artificial flavors and three preservatives, as well asa group of foods known as “natural salicylates.” All of these acceptablefoods are likely to be well tolerated. If this trial results in an improvementin your child’s behavior, or in other target symptoms, then the testbecomes the treatment. You simply continue to enjoy the foods and thepositive change in your child. After a few weeks of success you cangradually expand the food choices, adding back natural salicylates one at atime, and watching for any return of the old behaviors. The Program is aform of the time-honored allergy elimination diet. The focus, however, ison all the foods that are allowed, not on those removed."

There is a book that goes along with the diet called "Why can't my child behave?" I have only read a few pages so far and already feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest, like I havn't been a bad parent for the past 4 years, she really has been an especially difficult child and for a reason. So many things that have been written make me think "YES, that is her!" And "I never noticed that, but that is true too." So while I am reading I just wanted to start copy and pasting things that I want to address so I don't forget when we have her evaluation next month.

First there are some questions the book asks:
Does your child get upset too easily?
Does she seem to not hear what you are saying?
Is her motor stuck on fast forward?
After you have carefully explained why he cannot do something,and he seems to understand, do you turn your back only to havehim repeat the behavior?
Do you sense that she really can't help the way she behaves?
Do other children avoid playing with your child?
Does she have difficulty interacting with children her age?□ Does he always seem to be touching every person and object inhis reach?□ Is she fine one minute, and out of control the next?□ Do all the games have to be played his way, with his rules?□ Does she seem to be off in her own little world?□ Can he go from here to there and lose something?□ Does she laugh too loud, or inappropriately?□ Is he really just like other kids, only much more so?

The answer to all of those questions is YES. There were only 3 out of the 17 that were no, and that is because 2 of them didn't apply bc she isn't in school yet and the other was does she have trouble understanding facial expressions, I don't *think* that is a problem. All of the others describe her very well.
"Techniques that were successful with most ofthe children I had taught rolled off my daughter as though she was coatedwith Teflon." -Yep, nothing works with Madison that people have ever told me to do, I read, or spanking. Some things work in the moment, nothing long term.

"Laura was bright and precocious, possessing a greatvocabulary and normal hearing, but my attempts to communicate with herwere like reasoning with a rock. " - Oh my goodness, yes. She just has to keep arguing, even if it's off subject.

"When I tried to make eye contact, herglances darted all over the room." - She does this very often, when I tell her to pay attention to me, it's as if it's so hard for her to look at me, like she has to physically try hard to keep looking and always fails even if I threaten to punish her if she doesn't pay attention.

"When I asked her a question, herresponse -- at those times when she responded at all -- was very good, buthad no relation to the question I had asked."- Madison does this ALL the time, just goes off arguing or talking about something else, usually something that doesn't make any sense. Like "You cannot pick up Tyler." Her reply..."Well, sometimes I itch" (said with an attitude as if she is making a good argument to what you just said.) or "Well, you're always mean to me."

"Laura was not always distracted and difficult. There were times whenshe was fine. When she was impossible, I never knew what I had donewrong, and when she was good, it was equally puzzling what I had doneright! Sometimes Madison is so adorable, sweet and respectful and so much fun. Sometimes I don't even like her, I told John that a few weeks ago and it was so hard to say out loud.
"Of all the sadness such a child brings into your life, I think the worst isthat it’s so hard to like them. It isn’t hard to love them; that’s part of thejob description. But what saddened me most of all was that I found it sodifficult to like this little girl I had wanted so much."
"Every new step a child takes is viewed hopefully by the parent of achemically sensitive youngster. “She’s bound to do better once she getsinto school.” “Now that he’s five, he’s sure to settle down.” Parentssearch for the magical solution: a new school or day care, a newneighborhood, new therapist, new doctor, new activity, new parentingcourse. The list goes on and parents add to their disappointmentcollection. Some of these changes may be of help, but if the problem rests within the child, the symptoms follow him wherever he goes, and any improvement is still short of the mark."
Yep, that is what I have been thinking, that school would help.
"For the first four and a half years of my daughter’s life, I questionedwhat was wrong with my parenting. I asked advice from virtuallyeveryone who knew Laura, but they didn’t know what to suggest. Then Idecided that two well-meaning people, doing their best for four and a halfyears, couldn’t have made that many mistakes. Maybe the problem laywith my daughter; maybe there was something wrong with her“chemistry,” although I had no idea what that meant." I could have written that word for word, replaing Laura with Madison and that's it.
"By this time I was ready to accept the possibility that my child mightnot be normal, and even the heavy-duty labels -- emotionally disturbed, orwhatever -- would have been a relief of sorts. At least it would haveexplained things. But there were many times when Laura behaved verynormally, and she was clearly precocious: speaking early, teaching herselfto read, and sounding out new words by age three-and-a-half. And I couldnot accept that a child could be emotionally disturbed on just Mondays,Wednesdays and Fridays."

And this is about chemically sensitive children as infants...
"He screams with the volume turnedup to the maximum, stops taking naps long before Dr. Spock predicted,and is difficult to get to sleep at night."
Everyone that knew Madison for very long as a baby knows she had the worst piercing scream, it really hurt your ears. My friend wouldn't even ride with me because of it. And she stopped taking naps at 18 months, which people couldn't believe, but I couldn't get her to sleep unless she woke up extremely early. And she always had to nurse to sleep, she wouldn't go to sleep any other way until after we weaned and she had no choice.
"The day she was born, the nurse warned me she was hyperactive,”Lita’s mother recalls. “But she was such a bright, lovable baby that wedidn’t even realize she was hyperactive until she started the Feingold dietat age 4." -OMG - the nurse told me the day Madison was born "Oh she's gonna be a difficult one."

"He is often clumsy in his interactions with otherchildren. He bumps into them, or pushes his chair into their desks,interrupts, misses the point of a story, laughs too loud or at the wrongtime, and doesn’t understand how close is too close, or where his spaceends and the next person’s begins"

Madison is very overwhelming and overbearing to other kids unless they are just like her. Her neighbor friend came over to play once and left and never came back, and told us it was because Madison wouldn't quit pulling/pushing on her- trying to get her to do what she wanted. She is so feely-touchy, can't keep her hands to herself, is so in your face, and thinks everyone should do what she wants.

So now that I am convinced that this could very well be our problem, here is what we are going to try to do about it. Hopefully in the next several weeks before her appt with the holistic pediatrician who specializes in treating ADHD naturally, we can see some improvements. And even if ADHD isn't the case, there is no doubt that eating better will help at least a little because these things listed below have an effect on everyone, it's just some are especially sensitive to them. We will be going through the process of eliminating these things...
Food dyes (a.k.a. food colors, synthetic colors, artificial colors, coal tar dyes, FD&CYellow No. 5, etc.)Artificial flavorings (including “vanillin” or synthetic vanilla)Aspartame (synthetic sweetener) and its powerful cousin NeotameThree antioxidant preservatives: BHA, BHT, TBHQAspirin and a group of foods which contain “natural salicylates” -- a naturallyoccurring chemical which is similar to aspirin.

Wish us luck :)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

What to do about Madison?

What to do about Madison. Lately I have been thinking more and more that something is wrong with her, that we really need to do something drastic to improve her behavior. John and I both feel the same way, we are at a complete loss as to how to deal with her.

I have said before and still believe, even if she were ADHD or ADD, I would never medicate her. But I do wonder if that is the case. And if so, what do we do about it without medicating? I don't know anything about these conditions, I don't know anyone diagnosed with either and have never researched them. Just now, for the first time ever I looked up the definitions and symptoms and nearly every single one of them fits Madison to a T. She has always been a difficult child, but it didn't seem out of control until the last year or so. I just always thought she was full of energy and personality and a bit more than most kids, but that was normal. I have always said she has no impulse control whatsoever but I thought that was normal for toddlers. Well she will be 5 in 3 months and isn't a toddler anymore so it's starting to worry me more. I feel like I am yelling at her all the time, nearly always angry. I find myself apologizing to her for getting mad constantly and try to start over and have a good day, and be extra nice and get her busy doing something in hopes of having a good day with her but it's not a few minutes later she is doing what she just got in trouble or something worse. Since Tyler was born, she isn't really worse, it's just that things she does now sometimes effect him and sometimes it's dangerous. Today he was asleep swinging and I was in my studio room, where I can see just a tad bit of the swing, and I saw her sitting down on him and the swing started creaking so I knew she was applying pressure. She claimed she didn't know he was there. Of course I don't believe her, when I came in here getting onto her she was smirking. I don't think that she wanted to hurt him at all, she loves him so much, but just wasn't thinking, she never thinks about what she is doing. She talks back like you wouldn't believe, she can never shut up. She is overly dramatic, so defiant. She rarely listens, does odd "bad" things that she doesn't have a reason for when she gets in trouble. She does some things rough and quick like she had absolutely no thought process before she did it, like grabbing Tyler's arms and pulling him up and as soon as I yell at her she drops him and is quick to say " OH, sorry!". She doesn't show ANY signs of jealousy towards him, she gets special time and just loves him to death and is so happy he is here and wants me to have another baby for a girl, I really don't think he is the cause of any of her problems. She is better with other people when I am not around so I don't know what that means. Where do I go from here?

Here are the signs that describe's just about everything on this website.

Children with ADD / ADHD can pay attention when they’re doing things they enjoy or hearing about topics in which they’re interested. But when the task is repetitive or boring, they quickly tune out.

Kids with ADD / ADHD also have trouble concentrating if there are things going on around them; they usually need a calm, quiet environment in order to sustain attention.

The most obvious sign of ADD / ADHD is hyperactivity. While many children are naturally quite active, kids with hyperactive symptoms of ADD / ADHD are always moving.
The impulsivity of children with ADD / ADHD can cause problems with self-control. Because they censor themselves less than other kids do, they’ll interrupt conversations, invade other people’s space, ask irrelevant questions in class, make tactless observations, and ask overly personal questions.
Children with impulsive signs and symptoms of ADD / ADHD also tend to be moody and to overreact emotionally. As a result, others may start to view the child as disrespectful, weird, or needy.

In addition to the challenges, there are also some positive traits associated with people who have ADD or ADHD:

Creativity – Children who have ADD / ADHD can be marvelously creative and imaginative. The child who daydreams and has ten different thoughts at once can become a master problem-solver, a fountain of ideas, or an inventive artist. Children with ADD may be easily distracted, but sometimes they notice what others don’t see.

Flexibility – Because children with ADD / ADHD consider a lot of options at once, they don’t become set on one alternative early on and are more open to different ideas.

Enthusiasm and spontaneity – Children with ADD / ADHD are rarely boring! They’re interested in a lot of different things and have lively personalities. In short, if they’re not exasperating you (and sometimes even when they are), they’re a lot of fun to be with.

Energy and drive – When kids with ADD / ADHD are motivated, they work or play hard and strive to succeed. It actually may be difficult to distract them from a task that interests them, especially if the activity is interactive or hands-on.

Keep in mind, too, that ADD/ADHD has nothing to do with intelligence or talent. Many children with ADD/ADHD are intellectually or artistically gifted.

Symptoms of inattention in children:
Doesn’t pay attention to details or makes careless mistakes
Has trouble staying focused; is easily distracted
Appears not to listen when spoken to
Has difficulty remembering things and following instructions
Has trouble staying organized, planning ahead, and finishing projects
Frequently loses or misplaces homework, books, toys, or other items

Symptoms of hyperactivity in children:
Constantly fidgets and squirms
Often leaves his or her seat in situations where sitting quietly is expected
Moves around constantly, often running or climbing inappropriately
Talks excessively, has difficulty playing quietly
Is always “on the go,” as if driven by a motor

Symptoms of impulsivity in children:
Blurts out answers without waiting to be called on hear the whole question
Has difficulty waiting for his or her turn
Often interrupts others
Intrudes on other people’s conversations or games
Inability to keep powerful emotions in check, resulting in angry outbursts or temper tantrums

The part about the positive traits is 100% Madison, she is all those things, so so smart, so creative and engergetic and sometimes one of the most fun and funniest kids I have ever met. But what do I do about the negative aspects? We are trying a reward chart now, it's working so-so. One thing led to another a few nights ago and simple punishment turned into her ending up having all her toys and tv taken away and has to earn them back daily. I don't know if that was too severe of a punishment or not. Nothing I have ever done in past few years has had long term effects with her, a lot of things work short time, maybe a few days, like reward charts, treats and praise. I start to cry just thinking about how things are with her now, I hate being mad at her all the time. I love her so much and use to feel so close to her and don't anymore and that breaks my heart.

So I guess I am looking for support and help from moms who have been in my situation, any advice welcome. Thanks for reading.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Livin' on the Edge

I can't help myself from fallin...That song is in my head right now, I don't know why because I havn't heard it, since...well, the 90's lol...okay maybe sooner than that but it's been a while. And I couldn't think of a better title for this miscellaneous blog, so there ya go.
First things first, my chunky monkey Tyler is now 8 weeks old, 24 inches and 14.2 lbs! He is doing great, smiling and cooing, and still a great baby. Madison on the other hand is giving us a run for our money. Or just making us want to run away. Yeah...the latter. We are having some behavior problems with her like we always have, but it seems to be so much worse now that she has the attitude of a 16 year old but the intelligence of a 5 year old. We feel really out of control with her sometimes, we have got to figure out something. A few people don't know what I am talking about, because when they keep Madison she is so well behaved, a perfect angel for them...but of course children are always worse with their own parents. I am hoping starting school in August will help her a lot. She will be busier, have more of a routine, friends, and I think the structure at school will be really helpful. She has no impulse control whatsoever and doesn't care about rules until she is in trouble for breaking them, then she is very apologetic. I don't know how much impulse control a 4 year old is supposed to have, I really don't know if she is normal or "bad". It doesn't matter how many times she gets in trouble for the same thing, she keeps doing it. Just one very minor example... several times a week (sometimes every single day) she gets into my photography closet- and she is constantly reminded she is not allowed in there, that is my stuff, don't open those doors, you will be in trouble, ect. ect., so I put a child lock on it and she asked me what it was. I told her it was to keep her out of there. So later while I am cooking she figures how to get it off and gets something out and brings it in the living room saying "I don't know how your closet got open!" She thinks whatever her reason is justifies breaking the rule..."But I just wanted this" having rules doesn't do us any good because her reason will always be good enough in her head to break it. How do I get through that extra thick head of hers???
So on a lighter note...I have decided to kick start my photography business early- but I want to use that term loosely. We need the money, and I love doing it, I just wanted to wait until Madison was in school and Tyler was older. But for now I will only do shoots when someone can watch the kids, which means saturdays and occassionaly during the week. I have also decided to only do babies under 1 year old and I really want to try shooting seniors on location only. I think I would love that. The reason for just shooting babies (why do I always feel weird saying that lol) is that I don't have to worry so much about my small studio space and don't need so many props and backgrounds. When I have a larger space I would love to start doing more. By the way- this is my DREAM studio... located in my backyard next to my pond and house with land that is also in my dream. Is it gorgeous or what??? I painted my studio room white this weekend, to cover up Madison's old purple and put the desk behind my backdrop, so you can't tell it's there YAY, it looks much nicer in there. I still need some things, some posing stools (for when mom and dad are in the pic), a few baby things like cute hats and new fabrics and some nice frames and to hang up my fav prints and such...and new lights before I am good to go but hopefully soon. When I can order some business cards I will be putting them out at kids resale shops and wherever else I can think of. So if you know anyone around here with a baby, send them my way! Don't forget to check out my website - I have changed it a lot since most of you have been to it. And now, for what you have all been waiting for...