And a few other miscellaneous pics...

Man, it's just one thing after another. After Christmas we all 3 had a stomach bug. Tyler had not even gotten over his diarrhea issues, which he had diarrhea for 18 days STRAIGHT and then off and on for another week, when he had his scrotum issues. His whole scrotum area was REALLY swollen. I took him the the dr and she said I needed to take him to the ER immediatly and they would probably have to do surgery, she thought it was a hernia. Turns out it was just a hydrocele, which is not too big a deal. He does have to have surgery to fix the problem but it's minor surgery and not urgent, it's not scheduled until Feb. 19th. The swelling goes up and down, it was only really bad for a couple of days. And then Madison got sick, a bad cold bug I guess and two days later, he has it. I have just a touch of it but they got it way worse, and Tyler seems to get everything worse than Madison. She never had fever and his is 102 and his cough sounds awful. Madison started getting over her cold, then got a cold sore on her lip and says the roof of her mouth hurts really bad and she cries when she eats bc she is hungry but it hurts too bad to eat. I am hopping she just burnt the roof of it eating something hot. Now about an hour ago she started crying saying her ear hurts. It never ends! Did I create defective kids or something? We have never had so much sickness for such long periods of time.

Pics from about a week ago...
Set up my studio stuff in the shop.





19 week Belly, we find out *hopefully* if it's a boy or girl Feb. 8th, not too much longer!!!

My guy...






while I am her adding her dance pics thought I would add these...

Madison's First Dance

Unlce Jacob stood in for Daddy, it was a father/daughter dance. Madison has been counting down the days for two weeks and came running into my room at 7am this morning yelling that today was the sweetheart ball. I really appreciate Jacob driving all the way from Austin to take her.

She looked so pretty, and she knew it lol. She said she looked like a princess. She was so impatient to leave...

OOOPS, caught Uncle Jacob with his eyes closed. But they will be getting one done there that's better anyway.
How grown up does she look??? She looks gorgeous in pearls, on the headband. I forgot to put the pearl necklace on her, dang it.



Her jacket Grandma Carol bought her went perfectly well with her tonight...

Happy Birthday to my big boy!

The only toy that made him very happy...his monster truck! Mama knows her baby...







On his actual birthday...

Check out his sweet new ride from Grandma Carol and Papa John!!! He loves it, as you can tell.
It has pedals for when he is older, probably won't be able to do that until age 2 or so, so he walks it lol, so cute!
Is this not the cutest...
Playing with Madison on his birthday, getting pushed around in his dump truck. Madison has chocolate all over her face lol.
He loves it when John plays


I love this picture of Tyler even if John looks a little goofy lol :)

Poor Tyler, we didn't do anything special on his actual birthday, Dec. 31st, we had his party the following Saturday and then he was sick. Good thing he doesn't know! He has had diarrhea and vomitting for 6 days now and been to the dr twice. I think he is finally getting over it today. I was getting pretty worried. So I have not done his birthday pics yet, was waiting on him to feel better. So hopefully in a few days. I am looking forward to doing the messy cake pictures. His party was very small and informal, since he was sick I told anyone that didn't want to risk getting sick not to come so that was most of the kids. I couldn't put it off because John was leaving for a month the next day and didn't want to miss it. It worked out okay. So John is gone for a month and both kids miss him. Tyler calls out dada a lot when he isn't here, not so much when he is. But he looks for him when he is gone. It's kind of sad! Madison wants him to get a job here, she says either at wal-mart or the car wash, haha! It's sweet that she misses him that much. For some reason Madison is on this kick about getting rich, she talks about how we need to get rich all the time. I guess bc I have had to tell her a lot lately "We can't afford it" so she says we need more money. She comes up with different ideas on how we can get rich. The other day while I was getting gas at a very packed station she says,

"People need a lot of gas right? I have a great idea, we can plan a store that sells gas!" A few days later, she says "People move every day, right? They need new houses, right? So we can plan a store that sells houses and they can even buy wood and bricks there!" She added that our store could sell gas, houses and even drinks in one place lol. It made me think of wal-mart. I thought it was very smart of her at 5 to be able to think of things that have high demand and to supply them to make money, even if she isn't the first lol. She is gonna be my little entrepreneur. Now if she could only think of something that no one else has! I told her we don't have to be rich to be happy, money isn't everything. She said "Yes it is. What if we run out of food and money and have to eat unhealthy stuff and we get sick?" LOL, she has been listening to me talk about eating healthy at least. :) She wanted to go back to public school, so I let her. She started back yesterday and she is happy although she just walked in here from bed and told me she doesn't want to go tomorrow, I said too bad. No going back and forth, this is it.

I hope everyone is having a great start to the new year!

Feeling Bloggy

So I have not been talking too much about this pregnancy to anyone really unless I was complaining about it to a friend lol. It's been hard to be happy about it, all I can think of is how hard it's gonna be the first year. If John were home all the time I would not be as worried about it, but Tyler is such a mama's boy and I know he is going to be very jealous and there is not much reasoning with an 18 month old, which is what he will be when this one is born. I can't tell him hush while I get the baby to sleep or hold on and I will fix your lunch when the baby is done eating. I can try, but he isn't going to understand too much just yet. The closer to 2 he gets and the older the baby gets I know it will get easier but I feel like Tyler is going to suffer the most being in the middle and still needing so much from me and being put on the back burner often. Some of my plans had to change, and I have never wanted 3 kids so it was hard to accept, I felt so complete and done with my one boy and one girl. Madison couldn't be happier about it though! Poor thing does not know how much more responsibility she is going to have, and if it's a girl, how much she is going to regret wishing for a sister when she is a teenager lol.

I felt very guilty for feeling anything less than happy about it, though. I wanted it to just go away. I was not attached at all. Part of it was I knew I was going to have horrible morning sickness again that would make it hard to take care of Tyler at such a young age. Luckily, that didn't happen. I say God was giving me a break. I was dreading this whole pregnancy so badly that I was having a hard time thinking anything positive about it.

BUT...things have changed. I have realized there is no going back, that babies are a blessing and one day I will look back and think how in the world did I not want him/her? I am feeling more attached now and thinking fondly of my sweet little one growing in there. God forbid something go wrong now. I would be pretty upset. I am actually having an easy pregnancy. My morning sickness, while not fun, was not horrible and passed rather quickly. Now I am feeling great, actually not feeling pregnant at all. I know that will end with the third trimester but at least I can enjoy this time, because I didn't enjoy being pregnant with the other two at all.

I am looking forward to finding out what it is, but I am so certain it's a girl. I will be really surprised if I am wrong. Another month away. I will have a lot of adjusting to do if it's a boy, I think of the baby in terms of she and my little girl and am looking forward to buying tiny pink things again. I just can't force myself to think of the baby as him. With Tyler, I knew he was a boy and couldn't think of him as a girl. So maybe I am right. However, it would be much more convienent if it were a boy, so I really can happy either way. Sharing a room with Tyler, passing down toys and clothes...a boy would be much cheaper and easier being so close to Tyler's age. Either one is totally fine with us but you know how it goes, the boys root for blue and the girls for pink.

I have a lot of crazy thoughts like most pregnant women do. I feel like God is going to punish me for not wanting the baby at first, something will go wrong, be wrong, I will lose it after I am happy about it for not being grateful before. I am going to be a nervous wreck until birth. Before I would have been so happy for someone to tell me I am not really pregnant, but now it's my baby, my third child, part of the family already. My feelings have changed a lot in just the past week and I realize how truly blessed I am. My feelings may continue to be a roller coaster but I am glad to finally be feeling good about it and just wanted to put that out there. My last midwife appointment was Monday, I am 15 weeks, everything looks good and I am really excited about having a home birth instead of birth center this time. Thanks for reading!