Brandi Lacey: July 2010

Wow, already??? I had to check the date, I almost didn't believe it. Ethan is peeling pretty bad on his arms and legs so I was putting off doing his pictures, not to mention I don't have much time or energy here by myself (John went to Canada a few days ago). But I needed to get some done before he gets too old for me to do whatever I want with him while he is asleep but I may have already missed my window, he only let me do these few pics today before he got sick and tired of being woken up and said no more. I will try again later. He started being more alert yesterday evening and today. He is still good and mellow though but is a bit more vocal today. Being by myself with the kids is challenging but not as bad as I thought it would be because Tyler is dealing with it so much better than I could have possibly imagined. I am pretty exhausted and still look like crap, don't feel like I have recovered still because I am doing too much. The hardest part is getting any housework done. I tried to get a pic of all 3 of the kids but that didn't happen. Don't know if it ever will!

I got this baby hat from Erin, you can see more of her stuff here:HERE. Ethan looks super cute in it, check her out!

All pictures were taken by Kali Shanti Park- if your in East Texas and need a doula and/or birth photographer, call her!!! She did such a wonderful job! Here is a link to her site, go check her out...http://mamamattersdoula.wordpress.com/

Madison laid him out a pillow lol, stuffed animal, blankets and his clothes, so sweet :)

so serious...
awwww
He looks happy to see her, doesn't he lol?

I would say first family pic, but we are missing Tyler :( I wish he was a little older and I would have let him be there.

Ethan's Birth Story

My birth story this time isn't nearly as dramatic as Tyler's birth was, thankfully! To make it short and sweet, I had a 21 hour irregular labor that was slow and annoying but luckily uneventful followed by a super quick and painful pushing phase and all is well. But if you want every little detail, I am pretty wordy, continue reading...

I started having prelabor about 26 hours before it really got going. I had constant contractions during that time from every 5-30 minutes, but for the most part, they were not painful, just really uncomfortable and gradually got more so. I was getting really impatient with things being so close but not happening so we decided to go do some walking and took the kids to the discovery science place, I figured chasing Tyler around would get things going. I actually had my first really painful contraction walking in the door at 2pm, and they got closer together and more painful the whole time. I had to stop and breathe through them, it was obvious to the other women there that I was in labor and I got several comments and stares. I would come out of a contraction and open my eyes to have people staring at me which was funny but I was getting serious so I didn't care. My contractions would not become regular though, I had them all over the place anywhere from 4-13 minutes apart and only lasting 30-45 seconds so I knew I still had a ways to go so I kept walking around. We got home around 5 and sent the kids with my mom and went to have some Mexican food for dinner before settling in at home for the night to have our baby. Our waitress kept looking at me funny because she knew I was in labor, of course she had to tell me about her births a little bit and how she didn't even tear...a little too much info probably for John to hear from the woman taking our dinner order! I heard several times throughout the day how brave I was for having a home birth. I get so tired of hearing that.

So we get home and things are about the same, going strong but totally bearable. We got the pool ready, decide to turn off the lights, start my music, try to relax and lay on my left side and get ready for a long night. I had no idea how long it would end up, I thought we would have a baby before sunrise. John went and got Madison so she could go to bed at home and we could wake her when it was time but left Tyler there since I didn't think he would handle it well.

By 11 my contractions were hurting pretty good, John was asleep and I had dozed off a few times in between but the pain kept waking me after the contraction was already going good and I found it hard to go from sleeping to focusing on my breathing, it made me not handle it as well, so I decided to stay awake. My back was starting to hurt a lot during them and they were finally lasting one minute. I got so excited to see them lasting that long, even though it hurt.

By 12 they were very intense, I tried the pool out and found it too hot, I wasn't ready for the water yet so didn't stay in long. By 2, much more intense and I really needed the water.

I stayed in the pool for the most part of the rest of the labor and birth, only getting out when needed. I couldn't cope nearly as well out of the water, just like with Tyler's birth, I felt like I HAD to be in there. I wasn't supposed to call my midwife until they were 5 minutes apart and 1 minute long. I had the one minute for hours now, but they were still so irregular, lasting anywhere from 3-12 minutes. I was having to moan through them at this point, it was getting harder to focus. Around 5 they seemed to be getting farther apart and I even went 20 minutes without one. I was exhausted, irritated and fed up with the irregular contractions and called my midwife. She came over and gave me some herbs to help speed things up and checked me at 6cm. It wasn't much longer they got so much stronger and I had a really hard time staying calm, my moaning was getting pretty loud, much louder by the hour probably. By 10 am I didn't think I could take any more, I wanted to be done so badly. I couldn't control my breathing as well and would moan as loud and long as I could to keep from crying or tensing up too much. I know I sounded like a sick cow. But I knew that feeling that way was a good sign, I knew when I felt like I couldn't take any more that it was almost over so I kept telling myself that but I was so discouraged because I didn't feel any pressure at all. I so badly wanted to feel the urge to push but I was so sleepy that I didn't think I had any energy left to push. I asked to be checked before changing clothes because I thought getting out of the water might help speed things up since I had been in there literally all night and morning, but I was 9cm so I knew I better get back in which is what I really wanted anyway. My midwife offered to break my water for me, but I didn't want any more intervention and I was afraid of more pain since it gets worse after that. All of the sudden a few minutes later, seemingly out of nowhere, during a contraction my body started pushing and I tried a few grunts to see how it felt but it hurt so bad I didn't want to do it. The next contraction the pushing urge was unbearable, seemed he was coming with or without my help and that's all it took was that one contraction to push him out. My water broke right before he came out, it was an odd feeling, a weird popping sensation. There was no long time of crowning, where you gain a little, lose a little head, he was out of there in no time. Of course at that moment, it didn't feel that way. I felt like I couldn't handle another second of it, I just wanted to give up right in the middle of pushing, say I don't really want to do this anymore, peace out. I really didn't handle the pushing very well at all, he was only 7.1 lbs but I swear pushing him out hurt ten times worse than pushing out my 9 pounder 18 months ago, which was fairly short pushing phase too but lasted at least 10 minutes I think. I was loud with him too but not as bad. I wonder if that's because it was just so fast, I didn't have much time to really stretch? I couldn't hold my voice in. I was so loud and felt so out of control.

The cord was wrapped around his neck two times, so it took a minute to get him to my chest, it was hard for the midwife to get off from her angle or something, I am really not sure what the deal was, I was too out of it. The pain after he was out was nearly as bad as him coming out, it didn't go away for what seemed like forever. It took me a while to calm down. The afterpains were so horrible, which they are worse with subsequent children I am told, and that has to be true. I didn't have any with Madison, they were pretty bad after Tyler, and this time they were nearly as bad as labor. We stayed in the pool a while, waited on the placenta, ick...loved on Ethan and I calmed down before I got out. John was sitting behind me in the pool and I really like that, with Tyler he was beside the tub and it wasn't as intimate. I liked having him for physical support behind me and to be laying in his arms while I held Ethan, that was nice. Madison was supposed to watch the birth but at the last minute she walked out of the room because she said it was too loud hahaha...she came back in right after.

I can't imagine not being in the water, it made it so much more possible for me to cope. And being at home was nice, it was such a relief not having to worry about when to go somewhere and just feeling so comfortable in my own house, no strangers coming in. Even using the birth center, getting packed up and deciding when it's time, packing back, coming home and unloading, it's just a pain. Staying home was great and I wouldn't do it any other way after having experienced all 3 types, hospital, birth center and at home. My midwife was great and did exactly what I had asked, gave us our privacy and pretty much left us alone, just came in the room to check on me here and there and was very non invasive. Kali was very respectful and in the background as well, I am so happy with both of them. She knew what moments to catch without intruding and knew when to leave the room. I am so glad I did it again, the pain was only temporary and to me it's just part of being a woman and mother, it's what we are made to do and the reward is so worth it.