Tyler Brayden Lacey's Birth Story
I woke up at 2:30 am December 30th with my first contraction (he was due Dec. 29th), although I wasn't sure at first they were contractions because they were all in my back. I laid there for about 15 minutes and had several in a row and decided they were contractions and I better start timing them. I went to the bathroom and had a lot of bloody show so then I was really positive. With my first labor bloody show also started with the first contraction. I told myself I had to accept I was going to have back labor which I had heard was horrible so I was a little nervous. At first I couldn't tell my continuous backache apart from the contractions but they soon got more intense and were more obvious. At that point they were around 3-4 minutes apart, 30-45 seconds long, and hurt, but I could still talk through them and breathe just fine. I let John know I was in labor but it would be a while. I knew I still had a long way to go because they were so short so I let John sleep while I cleaned house and did some things to try and keep occupied and my mind off the contractions. They started to be more 2-3 minutes apart and I was still having a lot of bloody show. I decided to try and take a nap at 5:30 and laid down, but I couldn't sleep. About 30 minutes later they started getting further apart which really upset me because I was so ready and had been regular for a few hours so I just knew that was it. But by 6:30 they were very far apart, 5-20 minutes, irregular and not as intense. I called my midwife to let her know I thought it might be today though. So I told John and went back to sleep. When I woke up around 9 they were completely gone, but my backache never left.At 1:30 we went to my appointment with the assistant, Beverly, my back still hurting but no contractions. But I told her I thought he might be posterior (face up- the ideal position is face down) because of the back labor. She checked me and said he didn't seem to be. She told me to just do a lot of brisk walking and they might come back today. And they did, about 15 minutes after leaving, and got more intense while we were eating lunch and walking around a shopping center. About 2 hours later I felt kinda funny but we were at the mall so I couldn't check why, I told John I just felt funny down there. I let my midwife know my contractions were back about 3-5 minutes apart and 40-60 seconds long. She told me to come in and apparently my water was already leaking. When I was taking off my clothes I felt really wet and looked down at my underwear and they were wet, I guess that was the funny feeling I had. She checked me and I was 3-4ish cm and 50% effaced. The rest of my water continued to come out over the next few minutes and contractions got a lot more intense. We went for a walk in the park next to the birth center. During a contraction Madison told me "It's okay mommy, it's gonna be alright just calm down!" My midwife thought it would only be about 2 more hours because of how intense and close together they were getting. I was handling the pain though, they hurt bad but I felt confident I could do it.We came back in from the park and tried the birthing ball, which I didn't care for, it seemed to make my back hurt worse. I was also starting to feel the contractions in my stomach as well which made it a lot harder to focus. I was definitely in the stage that my Bradley book talked about, where I didn't know what I wanted, I said I didn't know or care no matter what I was asked, nothing at all seemed to help. I just needed to focus on breathing through them and take one at a time. They were getting harder to handle and I moaned through some of them, trying hard not to cry since that would make them hurt worse. I had to be reminded to breathe more slowly and not panic. John did a really great job coaching, he could usually get me focused when I would start to lose it during one.I tried laboring on the bed, the bed post, the ball, the tub. The tub was the best. Squatting hurt like hell, but I know it's supposed to help the most to get things going but I couldn't handle much of it. Being in the water didn't necessarily make the pain better, but it relaxed me a lot more during them and was just a lot nicer. It had been several hours and my contractions seemed right on top of each other. There was another assistant there that I had never met, I think she was more of a student doing an internship or something, I was too preoccupied with myself to ask or care. I still don't even know what her name was. She was telling me she thought I should try pushing. I said I didn't feel the urge but she kept saying I should try. I had absolutely no desire or feeling to push and when I tried it felt like useless hard work and made the contractions hurt worse. We did that several times and after every one I told her I didn't think I needed to but she insisted I keep trying. I should have stood up for myself for and said no, I don't feel the urge so I am not going to. I trusted that I would feel it when it was time. I finally said it doesn't feel right. Things went downhill from there. Before that it was all a normal labor and I was doing okay and fine with letting it take its course.My midwife thought he might be posterior and/or stuck. This is where it got bad. The regular birth assistant, Beverly, tried to do an exam while I was in the tub in an awkward position. Right before she put her hand in, I said "I do not want an exam during a contraction." And my contraction immediately started and she did it anyway and I started crying and screaming at her to "STOP STOP STOP!" and tried to push her hand away. I couldn't handle that pain at all, it was completely unbearable. She didn't stop right away, but gave up a few seconds later because of my position she couldn't tell anything anyway. I was crying and they all left the bathroom for me to get out and calm down. I lost it a bit after my contraction was over and was bawling on John because it had just hurt so badly and I felt violated. She should have stopped when I told her to, better yet she should have never started because I said not to. So I was really upset over that and it took me a few minutes to recover. It really pissed my mom off too, she was yelling at the assistant to stop as well when I was screaming stop. So from that moment on my mom didn't like any of them.After I calmed down my midwife came to talk to me. It was kind of hard to listen to her because I felt angry and resentful still about the exam, while she wasn't the one who did it, she allowed it.She was trying to be gentle but firm and told me she really thought he might be stuck and she needed to do an exam on the bed. And she was right, he was posterior and sideways. She said she would have to do two separate exams at least during contractions to rotate him. I was dreading it so bad, I knew it was going to be immense pain but I didn't want to end up in the hospital with a C-section or epidural so I allowed it. So the next contraction she put her hands in and rotated his head and I screamed and wanted to die at that moment. But she said she got him turned good. And also that I was only 6-7 cm dilated - OBVIOUSLY not ready to push stupid assistant! I got a break for one contraction then had to do it again. She also put some binding thing on my stomach that I had never seen or heard of before to help get him to descend and it hurt really bad. I was in so much pain at that point things are a little cloudy. She wanted me to squat during contractions and it hurt so bad so I tried but couldn't always do it, but it obviously did help because I started to feel the urge to push. I wanted that thing off so bad, that's all I kept telling John. So they got that off and at this point I never wanted to be in water so bad in all my life. As soon as I got in it felt so good, I was so relieved. The contractions were still just as bad but was a tad bit easier to handle in the water. By now it was almost midnight. So I got in the tub and started pushing. Pushing wasn't like what I had imagined because some women say pushing felt so good, the urge was so strong and a relief. But to me it was just way more painful but at the same time the urge was undeniable, so it was either be in great pain longer or be in a little more pain and get him out of there. But he still wasn't descending. She thought something else might be going on, she checked again and he was stuck because I had a cervical lip, which I had never heard of, it is from his head being sideways, not being evenly aligned with my cervix causing it do dilate unevenly. She fixed that during a contraction which hurt like hell. Then his shoulder was stuck. That was another horrible experience. But as soon as she fixed it, I felt him slide down and right after he started to crown and then they saw his hand was up by his head. Beverly jumped in the tub to help lift my bottom up, john held me up and the midwife fixed his arm, that moment was pretty traumatic and awful. I felt very out of control, the pain was unbearable. I can't begin to describe how bad pushing him out hurt. My more natural reaction was to suck him back in because it burned so bad when he was crowing and the stretching and feeling his head get bigger and bigger was a scary feeling. I actually thought to myself that I had just split up the top. It wasn't but another minute though that he came out and thank God that pain ended. All the pain didn't go away like some women say. I was still burning, throbbing and just hurting. So when they placed him on my chest right away I was still trying to recover from the pain. It was not that orgasmic feeling of joy and all that some women feel. I was relieved and so glad the worst was over. I felt happy and so thrilled to see him and was smiling, but couldn't focus quite as much as I thought I would have. It took just a few minutes, when I was on the bed, that I felt that rush of emotion and love. He cried really well right away. They waited to cut the cord then did that and got me out of the tub to deliver the placenta on the bed and nurse. He latched on right away and was so great at nursing from the start. The placenta came out about 5 minutes later on it's own and hurt, but was nothing compared to what had just happened. I didn't ever look at it but she said the placenta was very big.So he was 9 pounds even and 22 inches long, born at 12:25 am December 31st. He seemed pretty healthy, aside from having some low blood sugar which they gave him a little formula for through a tiny tube while he nursed at the same time and then was fine. He is now doing great and my milk is already in the 2nd day. It took 5 days with Madison. He didn't want to stop nursing all night. Breastfeeding is not half as hard as it was the first time around. I am doing great, I didn't even tear. I couldn't believe it. The after birth contractions hurt a lot, I wanted drugs for that which is kind of funny. I didn't ever have the desire for an epidural during the horrible labor and birth but would have killed for Tylenol 3 afterwards. The pain in my bottom area went away about 2 hours later and I felt so much better. My uterus contracting still hurts but not near as bad. Tyler is so sweet, sleeps and eats good, looks like his daddy and is just precious. I was so shocked that he didn't have red hair, it's a mix of dark brown and dirty blonde, his eyes are blue and his skin tone appears to be more like John's also, but that could all change in the next few weeks or months. He definitely has John's chin, lips and nose. John is so proud and so good with him, even Madison was so great with him right after he was born. She watched the whole thing and loved it, none of it scared her. I had prepared her well enough and she was just so excited. She was in as in love with him as us and was talking to him so sweet. He is thumb-or finger sucker which Madison never was, but he finds his fingers very easily. He is very strong, can hold up his head good like Madison could from birth.Ultimately, it was worth the hard labor and I realize had we not had those several issues it would have been over much sooner and not half as bad. All I can say is I don't think I ever want to do it again, but if I were to get pregnant again accidentally, I would have another natural birth and chances are we wouldn't have all the same issues with the baby being posterior, sideways, a cervical lip, shoulder stuck, arm up at his head. It could have gone a lot smoother but in the end I am glad I did it but never want to feel that much pain again. I like the way I felt afterwards much better than how I felt with the epidural with Madison. We bonded right away and breastfeeding was so much easier and got to go home 6 hours later. I feel so attached to him already, which took 5 days with Madison.I am really glad to have experienced it but I am done!
He is doing really good. He sleeps and eats great all day till around 11-12ish, when we go to bed, he has a fussy 1-3 hours every night where he doesn't seem to know what he wants, tries everything for just a minute and cries again. It all ends and he goes to sleep for the rest of the night, just waking to nurse once near early morning and is out again till 9-10ish, nurses again and sleeps till after noon. That will probably be ending soon enough and he will start crying more and staying awake more, but for now he is such a dream. He is so sweet, cuddly and I am just so in love with him. Madison is becoming a little more of a handful with him, since she doesn't want to listen to stop or leave him alone. I feel bad yelling at her or punishing her when she won't mind about something to do with him, because I know it's a lot for her to adjust to, and I have a hard time knowing when we should give her a break or let her know she has to mind or else. I don't want her to resent him or feel we love him more so I'm trying to make her feel special and big which is hard when she won't mind. Tonight she got in trouble and she said "I'm sorry the baby cries all the time, but he just doesn't like me." It made me sad she said that, but I don't think she really thinks it so much as she is just a drama queen lol. But I made sure to tell her different and told her I think he really wanted a night night hug and kiss from her and that made her happy. I think she is smart with words and knows how to work people sometimes lol :) She is crazy about him, you would never know there was a time she was devestated about him being a boy! She is going to be a great big sister, it's just hard for her getting used to the rules and not being able to play with him yet. She isn't being nearly as rough as I thought she would be though, thank goodness, she really is learning to be gentle. That's all for now!
If Tyler decides to stay in over this next weekend I might get some more done, maybe some with Jamie (my pregnant sister :) ) I am not sure if I will make it through christmas or not. I am 39 weeks today YAY! I havn't really had a backache ever since I threw my back out a few short months ago, since it healed I have had maybe one backache? But I just started having a lower dull backache last night, and a lot more pelvic pressure. My lower backache started 2 days before I went into labor with Madison - So my pregnancy journal says (so glad I wrote that thing, I can't believe the stuff I forgot.) But we all know pregnancy and backaches go hand in hand, so it could be just that, and not a sign of labor at all. Although he should be here this week or next week *hopefully* so in either case, it's not far off!!!! Am I scared? Yup, a little. I am afriad I will be at the birth center thinking "What the hell was I thinking coming here without the availability of drugs???" BUT I know if I can do it, I will be so proud of myself and know in the end that it was so worth it. I am very anxious and fairly confident. John knows not to let me give in, he knows a natural birth is what I want more than anything, next to a healthy baby. Anyway, gotta run!
